I have not posted anything in a while and I apologize. Things have become incredibly busy in my world in the past 1-2 months.
Back in Dec. ’16, I started a spiritual journey and asked God to reveal a lot of things to me and to show me what I needed to do to finally get the answer to a prayer that I have been praying for many years now.
I still don’t have the answer to my prayer but I believe without a doubt that it will be coming soon.
A few weeks ago, I went to church and we had a guest Pastor. His message was very powerful and I felt like he was talking directly to me.
He preached about how we get inpatient and lose faith between the time of asking God for something and waiting for Him to answer.
Very often our time table and God’s timetable don’t always align. God will also not give us something that we are not ready for or something that we will screw up once we get it.
This was powerful to me because it just validated everything I felt when I started my journey–that there were things that I needed to accomplish and learn before I could have my prayer granted.
Since the start of my journey, I have grown by leaps and bounds and have made huge changes in my life. I have walked away from a lot of people, places and things that were dragging me down and holding me back, amongst many other things.
On Jan 1, 17, when other people were making superficial New Year resolutions, I decided to cross something off my bucket list-learn photography. It was something that I always wanted to do. So on New Years day, I ordered my first “real camera” and signed up for a 6 week class at a local college.
In Feb, I was elected as a Board Member to my state’s American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Chapter.
A couple of months, ago, I decided to learn more about photography so I became a student at the New York Institute of Photography and I’m currently studying through them.
At my daughter’s urging, I created a FB page exclusively for my photography to showcase my work to a larger audience, a couple of months ago. I have people that I don’t know emailing me and making complimentary comments on my shots and my “talent”
I have also been selling numerous prints, have been asked to set up a booth at a community art event and someone has even spoke to me about me being an “artist of a month” in a local gallery. My CPA friend suggested that I get a Tax ID number, which I now have–I don’t know what the hell to do with it, but I have it.
To say that I have been blown away by all of this would be a huge understatement.
It has been all so crazy and unexpected but yet, at the same time, I am the most content that I ever remember being in my adult life.
None of the above that I described would have happened if I would ve had my pray answered when I wanted too because I would ve been so caught up in that I would have neglected myself.
See how God works?
A long time before I was a nurse, I was actually a “starving artist”. For years, I played the clarinet, wrote poetry, lyrics, shorts stories etc. I also wanted to learn the artistic side of photography back then as well. However, people always thought I was a bit strange and just didn’t “‘get me”. I suppressed a lot of myself because I just didn’t fit in very much.
So I became a nurse, when push came to shove when I found out that I was pregnant. At that time I was a “professional college student”.
I was forced to “grow up” so to speak and had to get myself grounded so I could be financially stable to raise my child.
For years, I buried the artistic side of myself and forgot that it was even there.
Once my daughter started getting older and went away to her residential high school, the artistic side has gradually been coming back-obviously.
Now, I feel like I am finally the person that I should ve been all along. There is a lot of freedom and self peace that comes along with that.
Since studying photography, I have been traveling throughout my state and even went on a cruise to Cozumel recently. In doing all of this, I have spent a lot of time alone doing a lot of soul searching. This would not have happened if I wouldn’t have picked up a camera..and I wouldn’t have a camera if I would not have asked God to show me what I needed to do.
Again, full circle.
I “get” everything now. Before I can get my answer, I have to first find out who I am and be content with myself.
At any time now, I know that my answer will be coming because I feel like I am where God wants me to be–happy, content with a full understanding of myself.
For all of you reading, if I have any message to carry it’s this. Don’t ever be afraid of who you are, even though people may not understand you. You may stand alone but at least you will be content and true to yourself. Also, don’t ever be afraid to start something new, no matter your age. I will be 46 in a couple of weeks and have just started a new career/business. It is NEVER too late to live your dream.
Thanks for reading…
Peace & love