I consider myself pretty well versed when it comes to certain things including a lot of sexual related issues. Not only am I 44 but I’m also a nurse, open minded, have dated a wide variety of men that were into various things, have friends that are swingers, have watched porn, had a subscription to PlayGirl, AND I read the 50 Shades of Triology series twice. So, I’m not exactly all that prim, proper and innocent.
However, I recently discovered a profile that forced me to have to Google a few things. I took pics of certain parts of it because I thought that it would make a great discussion and blog post, as well as serve as an educational tool for us all. 🙂
So, let’s have a look, shall we? The first thing that you will notice is the headline of the profile. Pay attention because it sets the entire tone 😉
So, let’s take this piece by piece.
1. The headline. “Seeking closet domme” Ok, I get it. A lady in the streets and a freak in the bed. What guy doesn’t want that? BTW, guys, women want a gentlemen in the streets and a freak in the bed, so it also goes both ways.:) However, in this case, this guy wants a 100% strong dominant woman in the bedroom. Please read on to get a complete picture 😉
2. FLR. This is one that I had to google. I had no idea of what that meant. It stands for Female Led Relationship. Here’s the definition from Wikipedia “The term female-led relationship or FLR refers to a model for a romantic heterosexual relationship in which both partners agree that the woman will act as the leader and ultimate authority. If the participants are married, the arrangement may be termed a female-led marriage, FLM or wife led marriage , WLM.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that there wasn’t a part of this that wasn’t appealing to me. What woman doesn’t want to have total complete control of her man at all times? Personally, it’s not something that I could do all the time though. As I’ve already mentioned in previous posts, I’ve had to “wear the pants” in a lot of previous relationships and I didn’t like it. So I just don’t think that I could play this role all the time in EVERY aspect.
In any case, I’m very curious to know if putting a man on a leash and collar and having him crawl around like a dog falls under this category and/or if this is a regular practiced activity in this type of relationship.
3. Cuckold. This was another term that I had to Google. Again, according to Wikipedia: A cuckold, sometimes shortened to cuck) is the husband of an adulterous wife. In evolutionary biology, the term is also applied to males who are unwittingly investing parental effort in offspring that are not genetically their own.
Does this mean that there are men that would enjoy having a wife cheat on them? On second though, duh! This obviously refers to a swinger lifestyle so typical rules and traits just don’t apply here. I’m sure in this “alternative lifestyle” the meaning of this term is greatly expanded. I tried searching to find an expanded definition but was unable to.
4. Male Chastity. Ok,so get ready for this one boys and girls. There are devices referred to as “cages” that are used to prevent men from having an orgasm. According to kernelmag.dailydot.com, “Orgasm denial is a multi-faceted erotic fantasy, but at its heart is a desire by a submissive man to give control of his sexual release to a dominant woman ( or another man). Unlike many fantasies, it can be an all-consuming obsession, condemning the cage–wearer to constant frustration and anticipation.
This is the part of the subject where I add in my own personal thoughts. However, I just.. I just have nothing to say about this. There are not many things that leave me speechless but this kind of sorta does 🙂
5. Forced Bi. At first, I didn’t like the sound of this because it initially came across to me as being a very aggressive non concenting act. However, I did a little research. According to Kinkly.com this is what it means: Forced bi refers to a practice common within the BDSM community where a dominant forces a submissive to engage in sexual activities with someone of the same sex as the submissive. In these situations, the submissive is bisexual. Kindly then goes on to explain. Forced bi is most commonly seen in BDSM relationships where the dominant is a female and the submissive is male. However, it can be a practice that occurs in any BDSM partnership. The forced bisexual activity is a form of demonstrating control and submission as well as a form of humiliation.
So, if other words, if the submissive guy is into this kind of thing, then it means he rather enjoys having a dominant woman force him to perform sexual acts with another man. Who knew?
6. Sissy husband behind closed doors. Researching this was an eye opener, to say the least. From what I gather from the pictures, porn links, you tube vids and various articles, this is a man that dresses in frilly women’s lingerie for sexual activity purposes. This may even include painting their toe nails pink. I’m going to say as little as possible about the things that I saw because I don’t want to scare any readers off. Also, if there is anyone reading this that is into this lifestyle, I don’t want to shame them in any way. We are all made differently and no one should judge anyone. With that being said though, I’m trying really hard to keep it light and to not interject my personal thoughts and to discuss very specific details about some of the things that I’ve saw.( I really hope ya’ll are laughing with me right now)
You can look this topic up for yourself if you like. However, if you are easily offended, closed minded or have lived a sheltered life, I would not recommend it. You will see things that can NEVER be “unseen”. I’m a pretty opened minded non judgmental chick and I had to close my computer and take a break after seeing some of what I saw. You have all been adequately warned 🙂
Ok, so moving on….
7. Domestic discipline. I had to resort to Submissive Guide.Com to get clarification on this (again, laugh please) It’s a pretty long description but will cut it back some. Domestic Discipline or DD, is the enforcement of order, usually by punishment for infringement of rules applied domestic context, normally between members of a household. Generally it’s the man that’s the disciplinarian. However, in this case where the guy likes to be the sissy, the roles change. So, what happens here is that the person that has the “power” makes the other completely submissive to them. HHHmmmm, I wonder if this is where the whole “put the man in a collar and leash act” comes into play? I’m pretty sure if I spend more time on Submissive.com, I will find all those answers, but I just don’t think I’d like to do that right now. I’m still trying to recover from the research on #6.
8. long term marriage minded with common goals. You mean people that are into this lifestyle actually want long term marriage and have goals and all that kind of stuff like regular people? I guess they are just like regular people in some aspects. If you stop and really think about all this, these people have to REALLY trust their partners to partake in all those activities, which means they more than likely have very strong partnerships. Makes you stop and think, huh?
As humans, I think that it is normal and natural to have at least a little bit of curiosity about this. I have trouble believing anyone that says that they don’t, especially within my own circle. It’s one of those things that someone wonders about but never talks about it, but ME? I’m your “ONE” friend that isn’t scared to openly discuss it.
I’m tempted to actually message this guy and get some clarification on things. However, I just don’t think that I’m fully prepared to open up that whole can of worms. See, this isn’t the first time that I’ve researched taboo issues. Many years ago, I had a My Space survey about threesomes. That, in itself, is a whooooole other blog post so I won’t discuss details here. My point is that I was NOT prepared for the “educational process” that followed that survey so I don’t think that I’m mentally ready to learn any more about the above topics.
Let’s clarify something and make sure that it’s very clear. Just because I’m not afraid to openly talk about these things, DOES NOT MEAN I’M OPEN TO TRY ANY OF IT! So, don’t get it twisted :)! These kinds of lifestyles are definitely NOT for me! I’m just comfortable enough with myself and my own sexuality to be able to talk about it.
If the guy that made that profile, happens to come across this, I want him to know that I actually respect him for being honest and upfront. That takes a lot of courage! I’m not doing this post to shame or make fun of anyone involved in it. It’s primarily for me and my friends, who don’t have what it takes to live it, to laugh at ourselves and have fun learning about new things. So, if you are one of those participants, please don’t be offended by this post and proudly keep that freak flag flying!! Also, if you want to laugh and make fun of me for being green, please feel free to contact me and we can laugh at my naive self together 🙂
So, in any case boys and girls, that is our lesson of the day. I hope that you enjoyed it, learned a few new things and have thought outside the box a little bit 🙂
Thanks for reading!
Peace & Love!