Kink or no Kink?

The last 3 blog posts were pretty intense so I felt like playing a little bit today. I just received this very “interesting” message on Plenty of Fish.

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At least he was being respectful about it…or was he? Hmmm…Is it possible to be a freak but a gentlemen at the same time?  Can you have a “real” relationship that involves kink?  Hmmm…maybe… Christain Grey… but that’s not real life.

I find this to be a very brazen first message  and not the type I care to receive. However,  I so admire  and respect his honesty and directness at the same time.

As far as the “kinky” aspect…that is so subjective. What one views as kinky another can view as normal and vice versa.

I sent this to my BFF to give her a laugh and her response was “do you think you are kinky enough for him”?

Well, I don’t know his level of kinky. Therefore,  I can’t answer that but it’s all very irrelevant anyway because he’s not someone I find attractive. No level of “kinkiness” or “non kinkiness” can get me excited enough to have sex with someone I’m not attracted to.

My day, thus far, has involved heavy discussions over state hospice Medicaid policies  with “suits” and Dr’s with big titles.

Now my brain has shifted to a very different direction and I’m surveying what my “level of kinky” may be :p

Isn’t it wild how our minds can change in so many different directions in one day?

Crazy!

So off I go to do another self eval….

Sorry but when I discover the answers to this one, I will not disclose them publicly. Thats something for just that “special guy” (if “he” ever comes”) and maybe my BFF.

HA! Now I have all of you thinking about this now too 😛

Have a good day…

Peace & love

~Tiff

 

 

 

 

 

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Education doesn’t equate cooth…

Another repost…..

There’s a particular guy that has messaged me several times on POF. I won’t give all the details about him away but I do need to allude to some of it in order to emphasize my point. His profession is one that I am very familiar with and he has the highest degree that you can obtain in the filed. He also works abroad.

I used to respect him because of his honesty and directness. In his profile, he is very clear that he will not be retiring in this country and that he’s only looking for “friends” when he comes home. He has offered me this “friendship” several times and I have always told him that I deserve more than what he has to offer me. He always respected me for that. Until today…..

Today… I got this from him..

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Yes, that is the actual message he sent me. It’s also the first time that I’ve ever been so politely  and eloquently asked to f*ck someone.

Just because someone is successful and has an impressive education, doesn’t mean they have “cooth”-obviously. I don’t care how much money a man has, the kind of degree he holds and/ or what kind of initials he has behind his name, I will NOT allow myself to be treated this way or compromise my self worth for him.

My female readers, please do not allow a man to treat you this way and value yourself enough not to give into that.KNOW YOUR WORTH LADIES! A man is a man is a man, no matter what kind of title he holds or how big his bank account is. Don’t let yourself get “star struck”, for lack of a better words, and fall for this. You will only be his “toy” and will not have any real value to him.

Speaking of “toys”, ladies, they make our favorite kind rechargeable now. No more batteries! If you’d like to know where to purchase, private message me. It is better to go that route then it is to resort to lowering your standards and compromising yourself for a man like this.  Plus, you don’t have to shave prior to the activity 😉

In any case, this man-the subject at hand-doesn’t need a “friend”. What he actually needs is a prostitute. I hope he finds one soon…. bless his horny little heart!!

Thanks for reading!

Peace & love

~Tiff

#online dating

I’m not a freak…well, maybe

I consider myself pretty well versed when it comes to certain things including a lot of sexual related issues. Not only am I 44 but I’m also a nurse, open minded, have dated a wide variety of men that were into various things, have friends that are swingers, have watched porn, had a subscription to PlayGirl, AND I read the 50 Shades of Triology series twice. So, I’m not exactly all that prim, proper and innocent.

However, I recently discovered a profile that forced me to have to Google a few things. I took pics of certain parts of it because I thought that it would make a great discussion and blog post, as well as serve as an educational tool for us all. 🙂

So, let’s have a look, shall we? The first thing that you will notice is the headline of the profile. Pay attention because it sets the entire tone 😉

 

 

 

So, let’s take this piece by piece.

1. The headline. “Seeking closet domme” Ok, I get it. A lady in the streets and a freak in the bed. What guy doesn’t want that? BTW, guys, women want a gentlemen in the streets and a freak in the bed, so it also goes both ways.:) However, in this case, this guy wants a 100% strong dominant woman in the bedroom. Please read on to get a complete picture 😉

2. FLR. This is one that I had to google. I had no idea of what that meant. It stands for Female Led Relationship. Here’s the definition from Wikipedia “The term female-led relationship or FLR refers to a model for a romantic heterosexual relationship in which both partners agree that the woman will act as the leader and ultimate authority. If the participants are married, the arrangement may be termed a female-led marriage, FLM or wife led marriage , WLM.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that there wasn’t a part of this that wasn’t appealing to me. What woman doesn’t want to have total complete control of her man at all times? Personally, it’s not something that I could do all the time though. As I’ve already mentioned in previous posts, I’ve had to “wear the pants” in a lot of previous relationships and I didn’t like it. So I just don’t think that I could play this role all the time in EVERY aspect.

In any case, I’m very curious to know if putting a man on a leash and collar and having him crawl around like a dog falls under this category and/or if this is a regular practiced activity in this type of relationship.

3. Cuckold. This was another term that I had to Google. Again, according to Wikipedia: A cuckold, sometimes shortened to cuck) is the husband of an adulterous wife. In evolutionary biology, the term is also applied to males who are unwittingly investing parental effort in offspring that are not genetically their own.

Does this mean that there are men that would enjoy having a wife cheat on them? On second though, duh! This obviously refers to a swinger lifestyle so typical rules and traits just don’t apply here. I’m sure in this “alternative lifestyle” the meaning of this term is greatly expanded. I tried searching to find an expanded definition but was unable to.

4. Male Chastity. Ok,so get ready for this one boys and girls. There are devices referred to as “cages” that are used to prevent men from having an orgasm. According to kernelmag.dailydot.com, “Orgasm denial is a multi-faceted erotic fantasy, but at its heart is a desire by a submissive man to give control of his sexual release to a dominant woman ( or another man). Unlike many fantasies, it can be an all-consuming obsession, condemning the cage–wearer to constant frustration and anticipation.

This is the part of the subject where I add in my own personal thoughts. However, I just.. I just have nothing to say about this. There are not many things that leave me speechless but this kind of sorta does 🙂

5. Forced Bi. At first, I didn’t like the sound of this because it initially came across to me as being a very aggressive non concenting act. However, I did a little research. According to Kinkly.com this is what it means: Forced bi refers to a practice common within the BDSM community where a dominant forces a submissive to engage in sexual activities with someone of the same sex as the submissive. In these situations, the submissive is bisexual. Kindly then goes on to explain. Forced bi is most commonly seen in BDSM relationships where the dominant is a female and the submissive is male. However, it can be a practice that occurs in any BDSM partnership. The forced bisexual activity is a form of demonstrating control and submission as well as a form of humiliation.

So, if other words, if the submissive guy is into this kind of thing, then it means he rather enjoys having a dominant woman force him to perform sexual acts with another man. Who knew?

6. Sissy husband behind closed doors. Researching this was an eye opener, to say the least. From what I gather from the pictures, porn links, you tube vids and various articles, this is a man that dresses in frilly women’s lingerie for sexual activity purposes. This may even include painting their toe nails pink. I’m going to say as little as possible about the things that I saw because I don’t want to scare any readers off. Also, if there is anyone reading this that is into this lifestyle, I don’t want to shame them in any way. We are all made differently and no one should judge anyone. With that being said though, I’m trying really hard to keep it light and to not interject my personal thoughts and to discuss very specific details about some of the things that I’ve saw.( I really hope ya’ll are laughing with me right now)

You can look this topic up for yourself if you like. However, if you are easily offended, closed minded or have lived a sheltered life, I would not recommend it. You will see things that can NEVER be “unseen”. I’m a pretty opened minded non judgmental chick and I had to close my computer and take a break after seeing some of what I saw. You have all been adequately warned 🙂

Ok, so moving on….

7. Domestic discipline. I had to resort to Submissive Guide.Com to get clarification on this (again, laugh please) It’s a pretty long description but will cut it back some. Domestic Discipline or DD, is the enforcement of order, usually by punishment for infringement of rules applied domestic context, normally between members of a household. Generally it’s the man that’s the disciplinarian. However, in this case where the guy likes to be the sissy, the roles change. So, what happens here is that the person that has the “power” makes the other completely submissive to them. HHHmmmm, I wonder if this is where the whole “put the man in a collar and leash act” comes into play? I’m pretty sure if I spend more time on Submissive.com, I will find all those answers, but I just don’t think I’d like to do that right now. I’m still trying to recover from the research on #6.

8. long term marriage minded with common goals. You mean people that are into this lifestyle actually want long term marriage and have goals and all that kind of stuff like regular people? I guess they are just like regular people in some aspects. If you stop and really think about all this, these people have to REALLY trust their partners to partake in all those activities, which means they more than likely have very strong partnerships. Makes you stop and think, huh?

As humans, I think that it is normal and natural to have at least a little bit of curiosity about this. I have trouble believing anyone that says that they don’t, especially within my own circle. It’s one of those things that someone wonders about but never talks about it, but ME? I’m your “ONE” friend that isn’t scared to openly discuss it.

I’m tempted to actually message this guy and get some clarification on things. However, I just don’t think that I’m fully prepared to open up that whole can of worms. See, this isn’t the first time that I’ve researched taboo issues. Many years ago, I had a My Space survey about threesomes. That, in itself, is a whooooole other blog post so I won’t discuss details here. My point is that I was NOT prepared for the “educational process” that followed that survey so I don’t think that I’m mentally ready to learn any more about the above topics.

Let’s clarify something and make sure that it’s very clear. Just because I’m not afraid to openly talk about these things, DOES NOT MEAN I’M OPEN TO TRY ANY OF IT! So, don’t get it twisted :)! These kinds of lifestyles are definitely NOT for me! I’m just comfortable enough with myself and my own sexuality to be able to talk about it.

If the guy that made that profile, happens to come across this, I want him to know that I actually respect him for being honest and upfront. That takes a lot of courage! I’m not doing this post to shame or make fun of anyone involved in it. It’s primarily for me and my friends, who don’t have what it takes to live it, to laugh at ourselves and have fun learning about new things. So, if you are one of those participants, please don’t be offended by this post and proudly keep that freak flag flying!! Also, if you want to laugh and make fun of me for being green, please feel free to contact me and we can laugh at my naive self together 🙂

So, in any case boys and girls, that is our lesson of the day. I hope that you enjoyed it, learned a few new things and have thought outside the box a little bit 🙂

Thanks for reading!

Peace & Love!

~Tiff

Oh the horror!!! Online dating stories from men..

People automatically assume that it’s always women that have exceptionally bad experiences with online dating. However, I do know that men have “challenges” as well. I do have a lot of great guy friends that online date and I hear their stories as well as feel their pain.

Since this is the first time in a very long time, I can honestly say that I don’t hate men 🙂 I thought I’d be fair to the guys and show things from their perspective and prove that it’s not just women that have bad encounters.

I put a call out to all men on online dating sites as well as ‘single” FB sites and spoke to my personal friends. The responses that I have gotten have been crazy!! Honestly, until a woman can tell me a story that really blows me away, I have to say that men actually have had more horrific experiences then any woman I’ve talked to-including my own personal experiences.

As I sit here and think about writing this, I’m thinking about 2 or 3 additional articles I can spin off from all of this alone! So, I’m going to try and keep it simple and to the point and save most of my other thoughts for different posts.

So, let”s start with “Bugs”. Bugs had been talking to this girl online for over a month. They texted, spoke on the phone, online etc. Things were going great and he felt like “yea,this chick is going to be alright”. It was finally time to meet. He went to pick her up from her house for their first date The minute she opened the door, he noticed there was something very, very important that she had never told him–she was pregnant…and not just a little pregnant but 7-8 months pregnant! Bugs was in so much shock that they ended up not going out nor did he ever speak to her again. Here’s the thing about “Bugs” He is a really great guy and had she been honest with him from the start, he still would’ve continued to get to know her despite the pregnancy.

“Taz” and I have been friends for years and we’ve shared the same luck and craziness in regards to dating/relationships. Anytime something crazy happens with each others dating life, we automatically run to each other. With the exception of lately though, because he has been happily seeing someone and I never hear from him anymore. 😦 🙂 Anyways, before he found his lucky girl, he talked to this other chick online for a bit then it progressed to texting. Well, she was SO impressed with his handsome self that after only the 10th text, she started sending him sexy pics. Now, Taz is the kind of guy that rather enjoys getting these types of pics BUT only with a girl that he’s in a relationship with–not with a girl he never met before and doesn’t have much self respect for herself.

“Charlie” and I emailed on a dating site for a couple of days. He’s an absolute sweetheart and his story really upset me! He “met” this girl online. One evening,she told him that she took a bunch of pills and he stayed up the entire night talking to her making sure that she was ok. They made it through the night and the next day, when she found out that he was on disability, she told him to never contact her again! Everyone repeat this after me “what a f en b*tch!”

“Bosko” was the first guy to respond to my request on my “call out” for stories on POF. He thought things were going great in his life because he “met” this great girl online. They had their first date and he said she looked beautiful, they got along great etc. At the end of the night she invited him in. She then excused herself and went back into her bedroom and came out in something sexy. Needless to say, he thought he was going to be having a really awesome night..BUT before he could touch her she had to tell him something–*drum roll*-she used to be a man! Bosko’s night didn’t turn out to be as he had hoped!! Poor guy!

The second guy to volunteer info to me on POF was “Elmer”. He was more than happy to share a few stories with me and I had a lot of fun talking to him. The first was with this girl he “met” and after they exchanged about a dozen or so messages, she asked him if she could move in with him and even deleted her POF account. They had never met in person yet!

Moving on with “Elmer’s” stories, on New Years Eve, he got a message on POF from a random woman he never met or talked to before. She asked him to be her and her husbands date for the night. The husband had a disability and was on medication that caused “performance issues” so they needed his “help”.

Wait! “Elmer” has more! A few years ago, on Match,he engaged in conversation with a woman he ended up asking out. He show’s up at their meeting spot and to his shock, discovered that she was a double amputee. She never ever mentioned that to him so you can imagine his surprise! Being that Elmer is such a great stand up guy, he continued on with the date and he said it ended up being one of the best dates that he had been on in awhile.

Elmer’s last story is probably his “best”. Around 2 o’clock one Mardi Gras afternoon, he got a message on a dating site from a woman he never talked to before. The message read something like this ” I’ve been admiring your pics. We live in the same town, so we can’t be more than 15 min’s from each other. I’ve been at parades drinking all day and just came home drunk and frisky, In 10 min’s, I’m going to get in a bubble bath with a glass of wine My address is _____. Key is under the mat. Bathroom is 2nd door down the hall. If you’re here in 15 min’s, you might get a show”. I never asked Elmer if he actually went. I don’t need to know all his business!

Apparently, Elmer is one hell of a stud muffin! Go Elmer Go!

Let’s move on to “Sam”. Sam was residing out of state and living up the bachelor life in a penthouse condo. He was talking to this girl on POF that lived in another state. The pictures she sent him always had a blurry face. She sent him a lingerie pic that was tasteful and showed she had a nice body He told her it was nice and then she proceeded to send about 50 more, which he thought was a little strange (they also all had blurry faces). She told him that she was an attorney and they decided that she was going to fly out and meet and stay with him for a week. He picked her up at the airport and her hair looked like she had brushed it with motor oil. She was very homely and he had no attraction to her at all. Once they were at his condo, she chugged a lot of vodka and she went into the bedroom and changed into lingerie. She came out barely being able to stand and was crying. He told her he wasn’t attracted to her and slept in the other room and put her on a plane back home the next day. It turns out she was not a lawyer, it was her first plane trip and had never been out of her state before. She was a country girl searching for “a dream” on the internet and was also married with 2 young kids!

“Marvin” has had the craziest experiences of them all. He met a woman on Match after she persistently kept messaging him. He was going out of town to visit his best friend and she just happened to be 30 minutes away from where he was going to be. She told him she’d have a friend for his friend to hang out with. She shows up at the hotel drunk with no friend and was literally stumbling. She also weighted 50 lbs more than her pic and started unloading alcohol from her car to his room. They go out and she keeps drinking and she kept trying to sit in his lap AND kept trying to get him to touch her gastric bypass scar! (she had lost weight from the surgery but gained it back). They go back to the hotel and he offered to sleep on the floor and give her the bed because she was to drunk to drive-or to even breath, as he put it. She refused and got in her car and left and then got arrested for a DWI. He got a call from the trooper because she gave the trooper his name and number but he told the trooper that he too had been drinking and he couldn’t (and wouldn’t) drive to get her. He then finds out she’s married and her husband was in jail for meth. To make it worse, she also started telling people that Marvin abandoned her!

Hold up! Marvin has a second story that is even better. He started talking to a licensed professional and thought that it was going to turn out to be nice. They went out a couple of times and had fun. He goes to her house one night and went to get ice from her freezer- and he found a voo doo doll floating in vinegar. He was spooked but didn’t say anything. He back another time and found a mirror with a huge crack with burnt candles. This time he asked and she told him it was a power spell that she was doing. It turns out that she is a Hermetic witch that practices witchcraft and voodoo. There was also lots of other crazy things like flickering lights and growling noises in her house. In addition, he found out that she beat her husband with a candlestick and punched a former boyfriend in the face and framed it all on the ex. She was also bipolar-and off her meds. He tried to stop talking to her several times but she kept clinging. She even tried threatening to kill herself and framing it on him. Thankfully, he recorded that conversation and told her that he would turn it over to her professional licensing board. To this day, she still continues to email him! Poor Marvin!!

So, there you go! See ladies, we don’t have it so bad do we? I think we need to start giving the guys a little slack now!

On a personal note, I want to thank all the guys for sharing and trusting me with your stories! You have all been great and I’m so happy that I was able to “meet” all of you! I had a lot of fun! Remember guys, ya’ll need to think with the head on top of your shoulders-not with the other one.. so maybe ya’ll want get into some of these situations again! 🙂

Thanks for reading!

Peace & love

~Tiff

#onlinedating

How to get rid of an online dating scammer…

I really need to laugh so I thought I’d repost this one…pulled from my last blog…I had a blast messing with this guy!!!!

 

About a 2 years or so ago, I started texting with this guy from Match that had a pretty hot pic. Thank God I have some common sense.. After the 2 or 3rd exchange, I smelled a rat because he was too perfect. By the 5th exchange I knew he was a scammer mostly because of the broken English and his extravagant “love and financial promises” and of how much “he couldn’t stop thinking about me”

His story was that he was a sculptor and moved to the area because he was contracted for work. He sent me his web site on exchange 4. There were some pretty impressive pieces of art on there… So impressive that it made me do google image searches on them because they reminded me of pieces that I studied about when I took Art in college .. My searches confirmed that they were made by famous artists-not by him.

I was bored at the time and thought I d play along for a bit and make him squirm. I started asking him who he was working with in our area because I came from a family of artists and cops and knew a lot of people in the community. He didn’t answer. I didn’t stop there though. The next day, I sent him the following email and tried to mimic his poor English, grammar and pronunciations:

“I m so disappointed that I had not heard back from you my love. I felt in my heart a true connections just from the little bit we texted. I felt your compassion and warmth come through the electronic lines and made my heart skip a beat and envelope your compassion. I can tell your a loving genuine person and cant wait till we start a life together. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you either my love and I feel there is a reason our paths crossed. Was so happy to hear your financially secure because I know you can provide for me because its a struggle being a single mom and sometimes I cant even afford toilet paper. My heart is aching to hear your french accent and so hope you can help me put minutes on my phone so I can hear it. Before we meet ,I hope that I can get my teeth fixed. I had a terrible terrible accident in the barn with a cow that knocked my front teeth out. So I’m so glad to hear that you didn’t care about appearances. That say a lot about the kinds of spirit and heart you have and makes my heart open to you more. I so hope I can hear your voice and meet you soon so we can start our beautiful journey together. I know that you are the one, my love.

Please my beautiful sweet love, I have to hear your voice soon”

Love always,

Your Queen,

I never heard from him again…. there went my chance to be a Nigerian Queen 😦

#online dating, #onlinedatingscammers