A “good woman” is hard to find….

A “good woman is hard to find….

…when you don’t have your shit together.

I got a message from a “rocker dude” today excited to find me since most classify me as a “rocker chick”

He does seem like a pretty cool due except for the fact that in his profile he states that he is “separated but still living with her”……and is looking for a “good woman”

Seriously?

Seriously???

What kind of woman does he think that he will attract???

It’s not going to be a woman of value or as he calls it “a good one.” No woman that knows her worth will touch that with a 10 foot pole.

All he is going to get is desperate, “easy” drama filled ones and bitch and complain because that is all he can find.

I don’t care that he can take me too see all my fave bands and he can do “this,” do “that” and buy me anything I want.

Homie don’t play that.

Bye Felecia!

Men, if you want a woman that is stable and has morals, self respect and self worth, you must first become that same kind of man yourself.  You attract what you promote.

THINK men THINK….and with the brain on top of your head.

Peace & love,

~Tiff

 

For the guys…..

I have interacted with a lot of males that complained to me about their dating difficulties as much, if not more, then women do.

There are some things that I have observed in todays’ dating society that may or may not apply to some of these negative situations that I have heard from men. This is all my own personal opinion/observations and it’s perfectly ok if some people do not agree.

One thing that I have noticed is that there is an increasingly amount of men that would prefer women to pursue them. Personally, I have a lot of personal experience with this.

If they choose to be like that, then that is their choice. However, there is something that they may not realize.

Quality women that know their value and have self worth and self respect will not chase after a man and/or throw themselves at them. They want the man to be the man and pursue them the old fashioned way-or at least I do anyway.

Another thing that I observed is that some of the men I have communicated with have very low self esteems. They think “there is  no way that a girl like that would be interested in me”. This is self sabotage and if that is truly how they feel about themselves it sends out negative vibes and messages that push women away. They  probably don’t even realize that they are doing this.  In addition, a woman of value very well knows that she can’t “fix a man” and is not going to waste her time trying and will simply walk away.

Self absorption. That is another issue that I see. Men could have an incredible amazing women standing right in front of him showing signs that she is interested and they don’t even notice. Some women are ok with being straight forward and others not some much. Remember a women with self respect and quality is highly unlikely to completely throw herself at a man. She will give subtle compliments etc and if he so caught up in himself and/or his own world to even see it, she will give up and move on.

Gentlemen remember, once a woman is done she is done. Maybe some of you just need to pay attention a little more and consider some of the things that I just spoke of. Just food for thought. It may save you from missing out-if it’s not already too late.

Thanks for reading,

Peace & love,

~Tiff

 

 

MIA: Old Fashioned Romance

Old Fashioned romance…….

 

What has happened to it?

In this day of “’instant gratification” it seems to have been lost

“Real” values and sweet simple gestures now seem to be considered to be out dated.

I would prefer to have a “real”  10-minute phone conversation over ‘all day long’ pointless BS texting or via other forms of electronic communication

I want flowers instead of JPEG or GIF images

I want sitting under the stars holding hands or cuddling on the couch instead of going to the newest trendiest restaurant.

I want a real soul connection

I want someone to ask me how my day was.

REAL

I want REAL

The feeling of butterflies when you see a special someone.

I want to see the twinkle in his eye when he sees s me.

I want to be the reason behind his smile

I want to inhale and get drunk off his cologne when he holds me.

I want to be treated like a lady..

having my door opened for me and feeling his hand on my lower back leading me….

help taking off and putting on my coat…

having my chair pulled out for me.

I want to be respected and valued.

I want to be addressed by my name…

Not sexy

Baby

Honey..

But beautiful is ok 🙂

I want someone that doesn’t expect sex so soon because I prefer it to be meaningful.

I want those small sweet gestures that are so now overlooked. Its those small things that mean the most to me.

I’m tired of the swiping left and right…

Having inappropriate pictures sent to me

One-night stand requests

And/or

Expectations of sex after soon meeting

And/or

Requests for threesomes etc

I am tired of being one of many options.

I want someone that wants to take the time to get to know me—and me alone.

I want monogamy.

All these things that hold true to me are very rare to find these days.

I feel like the “uptight girl” in a world where quick casual sex and serial dating is the norm.

I’d rather be that odd ball out instead of selling myself to try and fit in.

I want the “old fashioned” stuff over anything else.

Until then….

I will be the “uptight dork” hiding behind my Canon and MAC until it comes along…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…….I almost always have it…

So….I’ve dabbled my toe back into dating again…

The other day I was asked for a coffee date for this weekend and I accepted. Thats a pretty remarkable thing because even though I get asked out a lot, I rarely accept…

However, I knew I was in trouble after I accepted his offer. He then said,” I ll have my schedule tomorrow” as in, I’ll get back with you to set it up.

HA!

They never get back with me-ever.

I sincerely think that sometimes I ‘m being used primarily for target practice. It is as if they use me to help build up their egos in order to help prepare them for when someone they really like comes along.

Why can’t I ever be the “great girl” that they are waiting for-instead of being the stepping stone to her?

Anyway, even though, I knew in my gut I wasn’t going to here back from this guy, I still fought the negative thinking committee in my head. Lately, I’ve been trying really hard not to be guided by my negative thoughts and battled them all of that night-really hoping that he’d pull through for me.

Not only did he not pull through but he also disappeared into thin air. *POOF*

Gone, gone, gone…

Like dust in the wind…

This seems to be the overall theme of my dating life.

They will show interest, talk to me and maybe even flirt but rarely follow through-and then when something better comes along, I get pushed to the side…

Every now and then one lucky one sticks around-only to disappear when it gets to be that time that the “talk” of being exclusive needs to be discussed.

Do you know who I feel like?

I feel like the girl in the All State commercial trying to save a dollar. You know-the one that  has the fisherman with a fishing pole dangling a dollar bill on the line taunting her “ohhh, you almost had it”

THAT is the perfect example of my dating life…

Always an “almost had it”

It’s seriously all good though 🙂

Initially, it does bother me and hurts my feelings. However, on a daily basis, I ask God to look after me and guide me. I know that He is directing all of my affairs and orchestrating the people that need to be in my life. I have to trust that He knows better then I do. In my heart, I also know that I have a lot of growing left to do, despite all the progress that I have made recently.

You know, I’m a pretty amazing chick. How many 17 year olds do you know that ask for help with a substance abuse problem-and maintain their sobriety for 29+years? I was raised in a pretty dysfunctional family and had a lot of negative things happen to me as a kid–and grew up being told that I was a lazy good for nothing kid that would never amount to anything. There was also a time that I pretty much lived out of a 500 dollar car with no AC-while I worked 2-3 jobs at a time.

……And look at me now. A “high titled”nurse at a Fortune 500 Company that rubs elbows with very important medical and business professionals every day-and gets commended on my work.

Only a very special amazing man can benefit me. I’m not perfect by any means but I’m very strong, soulful, independent and I have a lot of depth.

Not many men can handle that. It’s not their fault that they don’t have what it takes…

Bless their little hearts 🙂