…….I almost always have it…


So….I’ve dabbled my toe back into dating again…

The other day I was asked for a coffee date for this weekend and I accepted. Thats a pretty remarkable thing because even though I get asked out a lot, I rarely accept…

However, I knew I was in trouble after I accepted his offer. He then said,” I ll have my schedule tomorrow” as in, I’ll get back with you to set it up.

HA!

They never get back with me-ever.

I sincerely think that sometimes I ‘m being used primarily for target practice. It is as if they use me to help build up their egos in order to help prepare them for when someone they really like comes along.

Why can’t I ever be the “great girl” that they are waiting for-instead of being the stepping stone to her?

Anyway, even though, I knew in my gut I wasn’t going to here back from this guy, I still fought the negative thinking committee in my head. Lately, I’ve been trying really hard not to be guided by my negative thoughts and battled them all of that night-really hoping that he’d pull through for me.

Not only did he not pull through but he also disappeared into thin air. *POOF*

Gone, gone, gone…

Like dust in the wind…

This seems to be the overall theme of my dating life.

They will show interest, talk to me and maybe even flirt but rarely follow through-and then when something better comes along, I get pushed to the side…

Every now and then one lucky one sticks around-only to disappear when it gets to be that time that the “talk” of being exclusive needs to be discussed.

Do you know who I feel like?

I feel like the girl in the All State commercial trying to save a dollar. You know-the one that  has the fisherman with a fishing pole dangling a dollar bill on the line taunting her “ohhh, you almost had it”

THAT is the perfect example of my dating life…

Always an “almost had it”

It’s seriously all good though 🙂

Initially, it does bother me and hurts my feelings. However, on a daily basis, I ask God to look after me and guide me. I know that He is directing all of my affairs and orchestrating the people that need to be in my life. I have to trust that He knows better then I do. In my heart, I also know that I have a lot of growing left to do, despite all the progress that I have made recently.

You know, I’m a pretty amazing chick. How many 17 year olds do you know that ask for help with a substance abuse problem-and maintain their sobriety for 29+years? I was raised in a pretty dysfunctional family and had a lot of negative things happen to me as a kid–and grew up being told that I was a lazy good for nothing kid that would never amount to anything. There was also a time that I pretty much lived out of a 500 dollar car with no AC-while I worked 2-3 jobs at a time.

……And look at me now. A “high titled”nurse at a Fortune 500 Company that rubs elbows with very important medical and business professionals every day-and gets commended on my work.

Only a very special amazing man can benefit me. I’m not perfect by any means but I’m very strong, soulful, independent and I have a lot of depth.

Not many men can handle that. It’s not their fault that they don’t have what it takes…

Bless their little hearts 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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