* this is another repost from my old blog. Today, I was inspired to repost it.. So here you go :)*
I have no idea of how, when and why but I’ve been getting a lot of messages from men lately asking for my advise about their dating profiles. I would absolutely love to know who “voluntold me” to be the Dear Abby of Plenty of Fish!!! 🙂
In any case, I’m sort of bored right now and thought I’d pass some things along. This is all meant to be very light of heart so I hope no one reading gets offended in any way. Now, these tips are directed to men who want quality. If you don’t want quality then you may continue to do what your doing-and get what your getting! 😉
1. Please don’t say that your disease free. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING says “I’m a man whore…but a condom wearing man whore” more than this!! I absolutely refuse to communicate with anyone that has this in their profile! A quality man does not need to state this!
2. No pictures of your ex on your profiles. Yes, I have seen this. One gentlemen I spoke with had a pic of his ex with the caption “this is the reason I haven’t dated in 2 years”. The first thing I told him was to take that it down. It portrays bitterness and really major hang ups from that relationship. No emotionally healthy woman wants to deal with that.
3. Do NOT say anything negative about your ex in your profile! That also sends out a really bad message and gives the impression that you are bitter. I read one profile recently that stated how crazy his ex wife was and even his kids thought she was crazy. So not kewl!!! Again, no emotionally healthy woman would touch that with a 10 foot pole! I’d also like to add that one time, I had a date with a guy who spent the whole dinner talking about his “ex bitches”. I never went out with him again because I didn’t want to become his next “ex bitch”
4. READ women’s profiles before wasting your time. For example, if a woman states in her profile that she doesn’t date country boys and you are a country boy- but don’t read her profile- and message her-she’s not going to message you back.
5. If a woman is kind enough to respond back with a ” sorry but I’m not the girl for you” don’t message her back saying ugly things. Be a gentlemen and a grown man for crying out loud! Refer to my blog post “Damned if I do and damned if I don’t” for more about this.
6. NO PICTURES OF PICTURES!!!! In this day and age there is NO valid reason for this to continue to happen but it still does!!
7. USE CURRENT PICTURES!! Don’t use that ONE picture from your “hay day” to get attention. What you looked like 5, 10, 20 even 30 years ago is completely irrelevant to the present. I see some men who have been on those sites for 5 plus years still using the same pictures! Ever met a woman in person that didn’t look like her photos? It’s pretty frustrating isn’t it? Well, guess what gentlemen? It’s just as frustrating to woman! One time, I met this guy that weighed about 50 lbs more than his pictures. Did he think that I wouldn’t notice? I was PISSED and felt very deceived and manipulated. My weight has gone up and down a lot in the past few years for various reasons but I always used current pics of myself. I don’t want to misrepresent myself to anyone. As a matter of fact, I use pictures of myself glammed up, no make up, what I look like every day etc.
8. No selfies with the toilet in the background please…but if you absolutely have no choice and must use one, please make sure the toilet is clean for crying out loud! Yes, there is a true story behind this! 🙂
9. If you post a pic of yourself without a shirt, please have a 6 pack or a flat stomach…and not a lot of hair everywhere! ! Nothing else should have to be said about this one!
10. SMILE 🙂 in your pics. You wouldn’t believe how many men don’t. It makes you look very unhappy and sometimes even a little creepy!
11. I’m not sure how other ladies feel about this but men who post nothing but memes on their profile really aggravate the shit out of me! I can see all the memes I want on FB. I want to see pictures of HIM!
12. I understand that this is south La and there are a lot of hunters out there. Also, I understand why avid hunters want to post pics of themselves hunting. However, there’s not a lot of woman that like looking at fish and deer guts. Please be mindful of that. I often see pictures of just the fish or just the deer-without the guy in them. Men, remember your trying to attract women!
13. Another turn off for me is when men don’t post any pictures of themselves at all. Gentlemen, what attracts you to a woman’s profile? Is it the “picture not available icon” or the picture of herself? It works the same way for women!
14. Usernames with sexual references will not attract a quality woman. If you just want sex then hey, continue on- but don’t get upset if a quality woman won’t respond to you if you choose to have a username like that.
15. Complete your profiles please! A quality woman has a career and a busy schedule. She doesn’t have time to mess with someone who doesn’t do this. Personally, I don’t have time to mess with that. I read the profiles and if there’s something there that catches my eye then I may make contact etc. If it’s not complete, I move on because I assume he’s not serious and/or I just don’t have time to waste. I like knowing upfront if he’s someone that I have something in common with etc..
16. I’ve seen one guy with a gym picture with his T shirt completely soaked in sweat. Gentlemen, this is not a turn on and I so badly want to email him and tell him but I don’t want to hurt his feelings! Please don’t do this, it’s really kinda gross!
17. One guy asked me to review his profile and pictures for him. I did and what I found was that he was a divorced oil field worker -like 90% of men in this area are. There was nothing in his profile that made him stand out more then the others that were in the same “type”. I told him to post pictures of himself having fun and not of his kids, ex step kids etc. I also suggested that he add humor and personality to his profile…stuff that would make him “pop” out from the others that are like him.There wasn’t anything really there that made him stand out. He was just “another divorced oil field worker” lost in the Plenty of Fish Sea
18. Pictures of yourself with a cigarette dangling from your mouth will not attract a quality women. It is sooooooooo outdated and smoking is looked down on these days. There are not a lot of women that are attracted to that now.
19 Please be mindful of how many pics you have that show you drinking. Too many of these can send out the wrong message of yourself. One or 2 I think is ok but if a guy has like 8 of them, I’m gonna wonder…… just sayen!
20. If your in a wheelchair, have a disability, SAY SO! Yes, I’ve heard stories of people showing up to meet someone and finding out that they are in a wheelchair etc but did not tell them upfront.
So there you go. I am not a dating coach or any kind of dating professional. I’m just sharing my opinions and experience. Follow them…or not. It doesn’t matter to me 🙂
Hope no one was offended! Happy “fishing”
Peace & Love