People automatically assume that it’s always women that have exceptionally bad experiences with online dating. However, I do know that men have “challenges” as well. I do have a lot of great guy friends that online date and I hear their stories as well as feel their pain.
Since this is the first time in a very long time, I can honestly say that I don’t hate men 🙂 I thought I’d be fair to the guys and show things from their perspective and prove that it’s not just women that have bad encounters.
I put a call out to all men on online dating sites as well as ‘single” FB sites and spoke to my personal friends. The responses that I have gotten have been crazy!! Honestly, until a woman can tell me a story that really blows me away, I have to say that men actually have had more horrific experiences then any woman I’ve talked to-including my own personal experiences.
As I sit here and think about writing this, I’m thinking about 2 or 3 additional articles I can spin off from all of this alone! So, I’m going to try and keep it simple and to the point and save most of my other thoughts for different posts.
So, let”s start with “Bugs”. Bugs had been talking to this girl online for over a month. They texted, spoke on the phone, online etc. Things were going great and he felt like “yea,this chick is going to be alright”. It was finally time to meet. He went to pick her up from her house for their first date The minute she opened the door, he noticed there was something very, very important that she had never told him–she was pregnant…and not just a little pregnant but 7-8 months pregnant! Bugs was in so much shock that they ended up not going out nor did he ever speak to her again. Here’s the thing about “Bugs” He is a really great guy and had she been honest with him from the start, he still would’ve continued to get to know her despite the pregnancy.
“Taz” and I have been friends for years and we’ve shared the same luck and craziness in regards to dating/relationships. Anytime something crazy happens with each others dating life, we automatically run to each other. With the exception of lately though, because he has been happily seeing someone and I never hear from him anymore. 😦 🙂 Anyways, before he found his lucky girl, he talked to this other chick online for a bit then it progressed to texting. Well, she was SO impressed with his handsome self that after only the 10th text, she started sending him sexy pics. Now, Taz is the kind of guy that rather enjoys getting these types of pics BUT only with a girl that he’s in a relationship with–not with a girl he never met before and doesn’t have much self respect for herself.
“Charlie” and I emailed on a dating site for a couple of days. He’s an absolute sweetheart and his story really upset me! He “met” this girl online. One evening,she told him that she took a bunch of pills and he stayed up the entire night talking to her making sure that she was ok. They made it through the night and the next day, when she found out that he was on disability, she told him to never contact her again! Everyone repeat this after me “what a f en b*tch!”
“Bosko” was the first guy to respond to my request on my “call out” for stories on POF. He thought things were going great in his life because he “met” this great girl online. They had their first date and he said she looked beautiful, they got along great etc. At the end of the night she invited him in. She then excused herself and went back into her bedroom and came out in something sexy. Needless to say, he thought he was going to be having a really awesome night..BUT before he could touch her she had to tell him something–*drum roll*-she used to be a man! Bosko’s night didn’t turn out to be as he had hoped!! Poor guy!
The second guy to volunteer info to me on POF was “Elmer”. He was more than happy to share a few stories with me and I had a lot of fun talking to him. The first was with this girl he “met” and after they exchanged about a dozen or so messages, she asked him if she could move in with him and even deleted her POF account. They had never met in person yet!
Moving on with “Elmer’s” stories, on New Years Eve, he got a message on POF from a random woman he never met or talked to before. She asked him to be her and her husbands date for the night. The husband had a disability and was on medication that caused “performance issues” so they needed his “help”.
Wait! “Elmer” has more! A few years ago, on Match,he engaged in conversation with a woman he ended up asking out. He show’s up at their meeting spot and to his shock, discovered that she was a double amputee. She never ever mentioned that to him so you can imagine his surprise! Being that Elmer is such a great stand up guy, he continued on with the date and he said it ended up being one of the best dates that he had been on in awhile.
Elmer’s last story is probably his “best”. Around 2 o’clock one Mardi Gras afternoon, he got a message on a dating site from a woman he never talked to before. The message read something like this ” I’ve been admiring your pics. We live in the same town, so we can’t be more than 15 min’s from each other. I’ve been at parades drinking all day and just came home drunk and frisky, In 10 min’s, I’m going to get in a bubble bath with a glass of wine My address is _____. Key is under the mat. Bathroom is 2nd door down the hall. If you’re here in 15 min’s, you might get a show”. I never asked Elmer if he actually went. I don’t need to know all his business!
Apparently, Elmer is one hell of a stud muffin! Go Elmer Go!
Let’s move on to “Sam”. Sam was residing out of state and living up the bachelor life in a penthouse condo. He was talking to this girl on POF that lived in another state. The pictures she sent him always had a blurry face. She sent him a lingerie pic that was tasteful and showed she had a nice body He told her it was nice and then she proceeded to send about 50 more, which he thought was a little strange (they also all had blurry faces). She told him that she was an attorney and they decided that she was going to fly out and meet and stay with him for a week. He picked her up at the airport and her hair looked like she had brushed it with motor oil. She was very homely and he had no attraction to her at all. Once they were at his condo, she chugged a lot of vodka and she went into the bedroom and changed into lingerie. She came out barely being able to stand and was crying. He told her he wasn’t attracted to her and slept in the other room and put her on a plane back home the next day. It turns out she was not a lawyer, it was her first plane trip and had never been out of her state before. She was a country girl searching for “a dream” on the internet and was also married with 2 young kids!
“Marvin” has had the craziest experiences of them all. He met a woman on Match after she persistently kept messaging him. He was going out of town to visit his best friend and she just happened to be 30 minutes away from where he was going to be. She told him she’d have a friend for his friend to hang out with. She shows up at the hotel drunk with no friend and was literally stumbling. She also weighted 50 lbs more than her pic and started unloading alcohol from her car to his room. They go out and she keeps drinking and she kept trying to sit in his lap AND kept trying to get him to touch her gastric bypass scar! (she had lost weight from the surgery but gained it back). They go back to the hotel and he offered to sleep on the floor and give her the bed because she was to drunk to drive-or to even breath, as he put it. She refused and got in her car and left and then got arrested for a DWI. He got a call from the trooper because she gave the trooper his name and number but he told the trooper that he too had been drinking and he couldn’t (and wouldn’t) drive to get her. He then finds out she’s married and her husband was in jail for meth. To make it worse, she also started telling people that Marvin abandoned her!
Hold up! Marvin has a second story that is even better. He started talking to a licensed professional and thought that it was going to turn out to be nice. They went out a couple of times and had fun. He goes to her house one night and went to get ice from her freezer- and he found a voo doo doll floating in vinegar. He was spooked but didn’t say anything. He back another time and found a mirror with a huge crack with burnt candles. This time he asked and she told him it was a power spell that she was doing. It turns out that she is a Hermetic witch that practices witchcraft and voodoo. There was also lots of other crazy things like flickering lights and growling noises in her house. In addition, he found out that she beat her husband with a candlestick and punched a former boyfriend in the face and framed it all on the ex. She was also bipolar-and off her meds. He tried to stop talking to her several times but she kept clinging. She even tried threatening to kill herself and framing it on him. Thankfully, he recorded that conversation and told her that he would turn it over to her professional licensing board. To this day, she still continues to email him! Poor Marvin!!
So, there you go! See ladies, we don’t have it so bad do we? I think we need to start giving the guys a little slack now!
On a personal note, I want to thank all the guys for sharing and trusting me with your stories! You have all been great and I’m so happy that I was able to “meet” all of you! I had a lot of fun! Remember guys, ya’ll need to think with the head on top of your shoulders-not with the other one.. so maybe ya’ll want get into some of these situations again! 🙂
Thanks for reading!
Peace & love